Your friends haven't called for a while, and you're sitting at home with
a box of chocolates watching soapies or re-runs, or everyone's doing
something or going somewhere, which you didn't get to do or go to... you
have a case of thinking you're being left out. Everyone gets left out
sometimes. Whether it be by best friends, new friends, or
boy/girlfriends. Here's how to deal with it.
Steps
- Make sure you're not exaggerating. Often, you may think you're alone, when maybe your friends are sick or even feel the same way.2
- Try to become involved with people by asking "Want to do something this weekend?" or "Would you like to go to the movies with me?" (But never ask them 'what they are doing' and hint at the fact that you would like to be included).
- Message your friends something simple like "Hey, what have you been up to?"
Or "I thought I'd text you because it's been a while". If they reply
with a nice and friendly response, most likely they are feeling the same
way. If they reply with a short or distant message, try making
conversation with them. If they still don't respond as they would
normally, don't push it.
Organize a day out with
friends, whether it's Ten Pin Bowling or Ice Skating or even the movies,
something that everyone likes and that you can chat during or after. Be cheerful and happy towards your friends while you're out.
If these people don't want to hang out, find other people to be friends with. The only way to make friends is by getting out and talking to people.
If you cannot, then make other plans; get yourself occupied with something else.
You can try the relaxation method, which would be to take a long bath,
and make it really really nice with bubbles and everything. Also try
watching a happy TV show. You can try the "busy" approach,which is by
occupying yourself with jobs, like baby sitting. It would truly get your
mind off the thing you're excluded from.
Plan events for the future.
Do not exclude your friends that didn't invite you, but just invite
other people. It'll surprise them and show them that you have other
friends, too.
Do what makes you happy.
Try self indulging, like getting your hair or nails done. Go shopping.
Do something that will make you feel better about yourself.
Also show people a unique trick or something you can do that someone else can't do, this will interest them more.
Don't ever feel that there is something wrong with you because you are being excluded. You shouldn't try to change yourself for somebody else. It's the other person's problem, not yours.
It could be that you and your friends need to be away for a while, but you will soon have the relationship you did before.
Spend time with family! Talk on the phone to long-distance members.
Tips
- Remember, you don't want to be with the same people all the time. Meet new people and don't always be "in their face."
- If you can't figure out what's wrong, and if you need to change
something, ask people who see you every day. Get multiple opinions. Have
the people write down what they think, then compare lists. It's always a
good idea to ask. Who knows? You might find someone who won't make you
feel left out.
- Can't organize a day out? Try a night in! Invite your mates over and
set up the lounges and cushions for a lazy night in. Rent a few too
many DVD's of various genres. Pick up some soda and snacks.
- Make yourself useful, clean your room or play a computer game or
board game. This way, you're expanding and exercising your mind and time
will pass faster.
- More often than not, if you're being left out by a group of
"friends" they aren't the kind of people you want to spend time with.
True friends will include you, and if something comes up, will call and
tell you the problem, without seeming like a fake.
Warnings
- Decide why people won't hang out with you. Is there a reason?
Something you can change? But, don't change who you are. If they don't
want to hang out with you try to make some new friends. If they don't
want to hang out with you, that's their loss.
- Don't think there is anything wrong with you because someone doesn't
feel like seeing you. It doesn't mean they don't like you or are being
cruel. If, however, they keep doing it talk to them.
- Don't get behind his/her shoulder too much, it will get them really mad!
- Don't hog. Friends don't like this and this may be the reason they don't hang out with you much.
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