Journey along friendship

I once tried to hold it tightly and mend on it,but i faced failure. Endlessly,i told myself may be it's because i'm too sensitive and think too much,or may be because i've changed over years,from active to passive or not even socialise,perhaps this is my fault? Yea,i'm talking about friendship.

When I'm still quite quite young, I've 2 loyal friends, let them be Hui.C and Kui.R.  Kui. R like to gossip the another in front of the other one,then I and Hui.C quarrelled and over years we not even talk to each other. After several years,we finally realised that's Kui. R's fault.  My golden friendship
has been destroyed by Kui.R,and yup,I'm not that bad to take revenge on her,haha...

Few years ago( can I say 'until now' ? hmm...) i made 3 loyal friends,they're good to me,we always go out together to hi-tea,i feel the warmth brought by them and think that how lucky I am to be loved by my friends.  Once in a while we even called each other 'lao po' (mandarin,means wife) because we are soooo close to each other,and i've ever think that may be we are as inseparable like twin peas,hmm yea,i meant it..Then after spm,we went on to our path in tertiary education,1 is future teacher,another pharmacist-to-be, 1 future lawyer and me is dentist-to-be. I really hope we can maintain our friendship for at least 8-10 years although in between we are like normal friends to go through loads of quarrel no matter how close we're.

And sometimes, I know that may be I too focus on my own things and spend less time to concern you all,and i know that i'm the type who will be putting too much attention on something until didn't know your feeling,but that doesn't mean that I don't care about you all,and if there's anything must tell me me,whether sad or happy i'm always there,don't scared to bother me okay..and sometimes may be I'm too sensitive,that's because I care a lot about you all...I know I'm a bit bad-tempered,sorry i think you all know that,and thanks for the willingness of you all to understand me. Friendship forever,lao po's..I don't dare to say it out in front of you all,scared you all will feel too disgusting..but I'm really really really x100000 hope that one day you 3 can see this and without mentioning your names,I think you all know whom I'm talking about.


Put that aside,after i went to my university,accompanied by my friend of primary until secondary school, I thought I'm still lucky enough to have a friend and also roomate from the same hometown. However, thoughts are normally in opposite with the reality. I don't want to publicise the real situation and the content in between,that makes everything become more complex amd stories will never end if so.  No offense here but I'm really get hurt badly enough for this kind of attitude. 

Honestly, i would like to say: it takes two to tango, not I want to pinpoint out any of her bad attitude,but really I can't bear with this kind of selfish person,timid enough and like to make an order for other to do or to ask question,but she's the one who make order yet not dare enough to stand in front of other when things happen and the one who did her order get wrong, thne if everthing is okay it's all her idea,her leadership skills..omg...I've to admit that it really need techniques to stay with those kind of roomies...

Tortured,i tried hard to mend on it and when I get hurt I tend to tell the other or our common friends but they seems like don't understand my feeling well,or may be not trust on me that she's that kind of people..TRUST me,my dear friends,EVEN myself don't believe that when in my mind she's such a quiet and helpful girl...Well..don't talk about it too much or as if I'm the one who care too much and keep on putting insult on my injury,yet she's not appreciating it at all..

I know for every segment of  in our lives they should have some friends to accompany us to pass through our lives of playing,schooling,working..at different period it should have different kind of friends but I just can't adapt to this since I'm soooo much adapt into my 'long' friendship for we know each other well and sometimes we don't have to speak out then each other will know what the other is talking about..May be I still need to to get into it,to the new environment and to the environment of how to stay with those 'freshly' know friends. Actually I also don't know what are the problem.  I still need time,I think..

And tomorrow it'll be alright for me,aha..pretended to be strong again...